Why Feeling Sad Isn't a Normal Part of Getting Older
Plus, ways to start feeling better today
From seeing our children (and grandchildren) grow to living out lifelong dreams in retirement, there are many reasons to feel joy in our older years. But with all of the changes happening as we age, it's OK (and normal) to feel sad sometimes, too.
"As we grow older, many of us struggle with isolation and loneliness," explains Frank Sileo, licensed psychologist and executive director of The Center for Psychological Enhancement. "Or maybe you've entered into retirement without a plan and feel unproductive."
Naturopathic doctor and healer Stephania Sciamano shares that sentiment. "There are so many different kinds of losses that older people experience, like friends or family passing or the loss of sight and hearing," she explains. "Oftentimes, there is a loss of what you thought your life was going to look like that can contribute to depression."
Regardless of the reason, one reality holds true: Although occasional sadness is normal for everyone, young and old, depression is not a normal part of aging. But how can you tell the difference?
Am I depressed ... or just sad?
According to Sileo, depression can be pinpointed by some telltale symptoms: disinterest in something you used to love (say, knitting or golf), weight loss or loss of appetite, an inability to sleep, a lack of motivation, not being able to remember things, having unexplained aches or pains, and a general feeling of despair.
"It's also important to remember that a fuzzy memory might not be depression—it could be a symptom of an illness," Sileo goes on to explain. He says that if you're experiencing any of these symptoms, in addition to decreased mental sharpness, your best bet is to seek help. Call your doctor, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (988), or 911 immediately. The person you talk to will be ready and willing to help, so follow their advice.
How to start feeling happier today
If you are feeling blue, Sileo and Sciamano suggest the following feel-good activities and tips to brighten your mood.
1. Seek out new experiences
"The old way of doing things might not work anymore," Sciamano says. "Studies show that the brain responds well to new things." And that "new" change doesn't need to be something drastic. Take a long walk with a friend. Make new friends at a card-playing group. Browse a book section that you haven't been in before, or watch a different kind of TV show or movie than you usually do.
2. Play like a child
"It sounds simple, but the happiest people you meet are often the most playful," says Sciamano. Whether it's games with your grandchildren, going out for ice cream with family or friends, or just saving time during the day to goof around and be silly, don't neglect the power of play.
3. Practice your favorite hobby—or pick up a new one
"Practice your favorite art or craft, or pick up a new skill, like playing the piano," suggests Sileo. "Being with others who share a common interest can go a long way in terms of alleviating feelings of sadness."
4. Connect to nature
Nature is so powerful that it can even change how our brains operate. Walk to a nearby park with a friend, take up gardening (indoor works, too!), or just spend some time soaking up the sunshine – even a few minutes can boost your mood.
5. Change what you eat
Opt for gut-healthy (and energy-boosting) foods that are high in fiber, such as raspberries, blackberries, legumes (like chickpeas and lentils), and broccoli. Try to limit sugary drinks, alcohol, and red meat.
6. Work up a sweat
Physical exercise releases endorphins that can elevate your mood. Plus, group fitness classes at a local senior center or fitness center can be a great way to make new friends and curb feelings of loneliness.
7. Talk it out
According to Sileo, finding support will be your best bet to alleviate feelings of sadness. "I suggest to my patients that they get connected," he explains. "Join a senior group, or volunteer at a school, hospital, or library. Simply interacting with others can go a long way."